Can You Get Drunk on Non-Alcoholic Beers?

Can You Get Drunk on Non-Alcoholic Beers?

Let’s get right down to it.  So I am a pretty big guy 6’0” 250lbs and I will be honest, because of Designated Drinks I have access to a warehouse with about 15,000 NA beers at any given time...(seems tempting I know).   But just how many of these 0.5% ABV beers does it take to give you a buzz? Let's break down the science behind it.

First, let's start with Blood Alcohol Content (BAC), the amount of alcohol in your bloodstream. A BAC of 0.08 is considered legally drunk in Canada. The average person metabolizes one standard drink per hour, which is about 341mL of beer, 250mL ounces of wine, or 50mL of spirits.

Now, let's consider a standard Budweiser beer which has an ABV of 5%.  According to the Widmark formula, a BAC of 0.08 would require the consumption of approximately 8.6 standard drinks. So, to reach a BAC of 0.08.  I would, being a 250-pound man would need to drink 86 non-alcoholic beers to feel a buzz! That doesn’t include the probability of vomiting and probably dying from ingesting that much liquid at one time.

But wait, it's not that simple. The speed of metabolization also depends on various factors such as your weight, age, gender, and the amount of food in your stomach. The more you weigh, the less your BAC will be affected by alcohol. Women tend to have a lower tolerance than men due to differences in body composition and metabolism.

Now, let's do the math for a 120-pound woman. According to the Widmark formula, a BAC of 0.08 requires the consumption of approximately 4.8 standard drinks. So, to reach a BAC of 0.08, our 120-pound woman would need to drink 42 non-alcoholic beers!

But let's be realistic, what man wants to drink 86 non-alcoholic beers and what women could possibly drink 42? Not only would it take a long time to finish that many drinks, but it would also be expensive, and you would probably die. And by the time I finished, I would probably be sick of the taste and never want to enjoy a delicious NA beer again and then probably die!

So, the number of non-alcoholic beers needed to reach a BAC of 0.08 for a 250-pound man is just an estimate. It's always best to drink responsibly and know your limits. If you're looking for a way to enjoy the taste of beer without the alcohol, non-alcoholic beers are a great option, but be prepared to drink a lot of them to feel any effects and just because non-alcoholic beers are technically alcohol-free, it doesn't mean they are completely safe to drink. Too much of anything can be harmful, and excessive consumption of non-alcoholic beers can lead to dehydration, headaches, and even upset stomachs and drinking 86 is a terrible idea.

If you're looking for a wild night filled with drunken shenanigans, non-alcoholic beers are not the answer. You'll be better off with a mocktail or just good old H2O. Your liver will thank you in the morning. So, let's put this myth to rest - no, you can't get drunk on non-alcoholic beers.

But if you're feeling daring and want to put your tolerance to the test, go ahead and try to chug your way to a BAC of 0.08. Just be prepared for a long and painful journey, and don't forget to grab a designated driver and a life insurance policy.

In the end, the science behind getting a buzz on non-alcoholic beers is a murky and unpredictable business. And I promise I won't try to sit down an polish off a quick 86 to catch a buzz. 




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